I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She bit a glass in half.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
