do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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