I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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