I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
