would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
