I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
