question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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