vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
