That's when you crack a 10am beer
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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