I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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