Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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