Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
