Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
