WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this will be a night to untag.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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