Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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