No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
