The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
