Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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