Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
