so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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