I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
