Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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