covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
