I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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