Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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