Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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