my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
