I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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