Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
