Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
