her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
