No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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