sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
