im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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