HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
