Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.