I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
