Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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