I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
