I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
