Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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