thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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