I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
