Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
