She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My ass is underappreciated
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
