ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
