Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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