Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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