If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
