I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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