you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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