if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
