Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
