dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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