the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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