I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
