Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize