Don't you send me to vm
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
