people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
