I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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