Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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