I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
