I wanna bring you to show and tell
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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