The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
